Sunday, February 28, 2010

Telling Things and Speaking Actions

Telling Things and Speaking Actions

If I could tell you anything
Upon getting that chance to stand before you
Empty room just you and I
Face to face, I would say:
It’s okay to be loved.
I know cheating is such an issue these days
I know you’re not like that
You see yourself a loyal girl,
A woman of moral standing.
But what if I told you,
That you don’t have to feel a thing
Just stand here
Bask in the oasis of right now
This moment of silence
In a sea of high strung emotion
As you let yourself feel love
and be loved
by someone else, longing to feel worthy of you.
In the darkness of this night,
I can never think it wrong,
The act,
You letting me brush the hair away from your face,
reassuring you that all of this will soon be over,
Place three kisses on your neck
Sealing the pact of security
You can feel when you are with me,
Brush my fingers down your cheek
A promise that I’m here, for always.
Why does love have to come from just one person?
I ask you
How is accepting affection from another deemed unfair?
Please give that chance for me to show
How much I truly care
For you, that is.
And if I could tell you simply,
this one, single thing
I ‘d whisper slowly in your ear:
“You inspire me to love”

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Pretty Lady

I couldnt help myself, I just had to put up another one!

Pretty Lady
She can’t sleep

Because we’re too loud
And I try to be accommodating
Anything to keep her around
At least until I get a chance to ask her
If she has betrayed me
But as time progresses
She sends off airplanes
By mistake
And laughs at the joy of life
And I love her again
Want to keep her by my side
Despite what she’s done
Or hasn’t
She’s a real beauty
I’ve known that for a while now
I chose to forget
Though she has become etched in my mind regardless
And it was the last time
The last time I would let myself fall
For a pretty lady

The Effect

The Effect

Let go of his hand,
And come with me
To a place yet undiscovered
Let me love you,
Let me be another.
I know you do not want this
Even if you know you do
But would it help for me to tell you
How much I want it sometimes too?
Not in the slightest.

You love him
From the bottom of your heart
And maybe no one can compare
Even if I can speak of doing better
It wont matter
Not unless you want it to.

What do you do when you’re attracted to a friend?
One you know can lift you up
Take you higher than you’ve been before
Turn the world on its side to give you a new perspective
Make you know your own self worth
And make you wish you had the chance to love them
Really love them
What do you do?
Sit back and endure the pain a little
Every time you see them smile
Knowing that you were not the cause
You are merely part of the effect.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

An Oldie

I wrote this piece in the fall of my junior year of high school, making it at least two years old now. I was really proud of it at the time. Now I'll tell you that its nowhere near my best. However, it seems fitting to what's been going on with me lately. It's untitled.

I don't want to be your friend anymore.
I know it sounds childish
But it hurts too much.
Our times were good
I wont deny
But we grew
We grew older
We grew wiser
We grew apart
And I guess that's okay
I've realized that now
And hard as it may be
I'm willing to let you go
It's all up to you now
You could give this another try with me
we'll attempt to get back what we had
Or you could walk away
It may take a while
But I'll be okay
And if in the end, you choose to walk
Please, I ask
Don't look back.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Something to Believe in

Fresh off the press:

Something to Believe in

Give me something to believe in
I say
On the very day when I bore witness to a miracle
I was absent
Living life as it is meant to be lived
Disproving all that I had been before
Is that right?
The wall displays my path of life
My favorite sayings and my moments of light
No more videos
Alone again
Alone, alone, alone
How come all that I write is loneliness?
Why is it that the time is right
But the people aren’t?
I try
But my neck is stiff and my arms are tired
I rest
I toss and turn and try to get comfortable
I write about knights
That are women with long blonde hair
Saving me maybe
But I never finish the poem
The scenarios are wild
But not unthinkable
And I’ll admit
That I have wasted too much time believing
Each week is its own chapter
I think
In this book of ours
Perhaps interrelated
Perhaps stories all on their own
Never to be relived
Stuck in towers
We whisper our secrets to the wind
And each other
And for once she completely understands
That I have done nothing wrong here
That I am the victim who refuses to be victimized
For even if I may seem broken
Broken pieces make me whole
I am human
And I’ve had my moments
That make me want to burry my red face in shame
Ashamed of what?
Of being me I suppose
For the gifts I bear may be too heavy a burden
For another to accept
I put them away
For later
For another
Repeat the same mistakes
Lather with love
Rinse with righteousness
Repeat, Repeat, Repeat
Say I’m sorry to the mirror
For I no longer talk to you
Whether its your fault or my own
We stopped keeping count
Stopped counting on each other too
Because caring for one is simpler
Than caring for two
Leading me to believe
That I may need something new to believe in

Monday, February 8, 2010

For A Wonderful Woman, My Most Inner Thoughts

This is for you:

I read your responses the moment I receive them. How could I not?

I love you, I love you, I love you. I have always loved you. Before I had words or feelings that accurately depicted love, I loved you much. I would let you be everything and anything you wanted to be for me, without complaint.

You are my sister, you are my friend, you are my lost love, my first love, the one who got away.

I am addicted to your love and affection. I need you by my side at every waking moment. Perhaps I have forgotten, or gotten used to life without you, but this will forever be true.

I would do anything for your love, anything to be in your arms, lay my head on your chest. Don’t you see? You are the raw definition of my love.

I try to forget.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Here's another:

Its saturday night, and I'm bored so here's another poem for your enjoyment. It's also pretty recent, from this last week actually.

Free (from me) - February 1, 2010

I am so empty
Nothing inside me
Only the taste of blood on my fingertips
its bittersweet
just like this solitude
From which I'm:
Too sluggish to move
Too frozen to change
Too tired to love
The she who's too tiring to be loved
continues to keep
keep on trying
Trying, crying, dying
dying to be
To be free

Friday, February 5, 2010

Two Recent Poems

October 2, 2009

Alone Now
With only my pain to remind me
of my undying love for you
of how I'd take a knife to my back
a bullet to my chest
a needle in my arm
all to keep on loving you.
And I pray
as they poke and prod me
I pray
but entirely for you
for every drop of blood they extract from me is yours
For whom I'd get down on my knees
tear out my heart and soul completely
averting my eyes
from the light which blinds me
from the infinite glow of happiness
that is you.

January 4, 2010

This morning I woke up alone,
With the memory of her
still dancing around within the folds of my brain
Touch me
Feel me
Run your fingers down my body
Grab my chest with both hands
Know me
Love me
May I call you?
Could I have your phone number?
Allow me to hear your voice once more
Want me
Need me
Bring on what you had promised to deliver
As I lay here waiting
Still longing for you
years after your departure
Hold me
Soothe me
make all the demons go away.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Sharing Session Number One

I've been doing a lot of writing lately: 3 pieces in 3 days. Thats pretty consistent for someone like me, who produces good piecea of work only a few times a month at best. This is my latest piece of poetry, written last night and fresh of the press.

This piece is inspired by and dedicated to Sara.

Dear Girl,
what have you done to me?
that's left me waiting here
Engulfed in the dust of the road you sped through.
Oh eager young girl,
how you leave me in awe of your light.
That child-like wonder,
May it never fade,
Makes me want to take you in my arms
And protect you
from any ill or harm that comes your way.
My paralysis
completely dependent
on how you see me,
on who you see.
Darling girl,
if you please,
I shall be a constant
let your waves
of fancy, of folly, of true life
beat against me
as rock.
And like rock
I may appear cold
but be it not a signal to desist
for being cold has made me solid
and solid is what I must be.
Sweet Girl,
Spin out of orbit
bump your way through galaxies
See stars
Indulge in the milky way.
When you return
rest assured
That I will be here
arms open
ready to accept that which you,
your body,
your energy,
your triumphs
and your mistakes
your innocence,
your wisdom,
your soul
and your virtue
can all instill within me,
making me into that person,
the person who must no longer ache
to feel whole beside you.

Finally Inspired

Okay, so a little background for my first post. I'm currently a first year college student, barely a month into my second semester here. LOVE my college, sometimes that can be hard to find in a sleep-deprived body of students. Biology major, Women's Studies minor, a potential second major in Literature in the works. Been writing, legitimately, that is, for a little over three years now. Lesbian, plain and simple. It appears in a lot of my writing and, I feel, makes my personal style a little more unique. As a lesbian and somewhat of a literature buff, I can tell you from personal experience, how difficult it could be to find a good lesbian themed novel or work of poetry, without there being a specific emphasis on the fact that the characters or their relationships are "out of the ordinary."

Allow me to make note, that sometimes I will include little snippets of my life in these blog posts or merely background to go along with the poetry I'm posting. And since I have accumulated written pieces for about three years, if things are slow I may just put up some old (but good) stuff to share with you.

Enjoy, comment, share!