Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Beyond the Reflection

This is the first semi-poetic piece I had put on paper since my creative writing class ended last December. It was written on June 25, 2011.

Beyond the Reflection

The full-length mirror
in the bedroom that isn't mine
sings me songs of progress
that I have not yet made
The marks on my body are invisible
but they are there
On my thighs, my arms, my wrists, my ankles
signs of hurt and indulgence
conceal themselves directly beneath the surface of my flesh.
I have not visited the same place twice
and lived to tell about it
but the poorly lit trail I chose to follow
whispers promises to me
between the forest trees
"Abandon-not the traces of dignity embossed in the depths of your soul,
for true light shines
     beyond the reflection"

The Revival

Hello All (or well, just me at least),

I write this letter to you fully knowing that I may be the only one left still following me, that's okay, for I am here for me too. It's been a long year. You may have thought that I had abandoned writing after reading my last post, and for a while I may have thought that too, even though truthfully every time I've thought about how long it has been since I last updated here, my insides hurt a little more and I felt that I couldn't come back. But when it comes down to it I could never abandon writing, it runs through my veins.

So here's a little rundown of what I've been up to this past year. I grew as a person quite a lot. I entered and completed my sophomore year of college. I took a creative writing class last fall, it helped my fiction a bit but didn't do much for my poetry (except for one poem I was able to spit out at the very end, which I believe is my very best thus far -- more on that at a later date). I gained a lover, who, interestingly enough, identifies as male, which just goes to show that you can spend your life preparing for one thing and the Universe hands you another. I stood my ground on the topic of my lesbian identity several times and I continue to do so. I became President of a club on my campus called Social Justice Coalition. I went to an amazing sexuality conference in DC called Momentum. I began embracing my kinky side and my passion for "alternative" sexuality. I fell in love with American Sign Language and Deaf culture and have now worked it into my life plan to become an ASL interpreter. I helped my mom move to her first solo apartment over the summer. I had my first sexual experience, and loved it! I passed organic chemistry, just barely. I was rejected for the same job a second time (a dream college job of mine since I set foot on campus freshman year), and learned to appreciate the job I had. I went through a semester in hell with horrible roommates. I saw Wicked on Broadway, finally! I began truly accepting that God/the Universe (depending on what you believe in) will work hard to give me what I need and what's best and meant to be for me. I gained a ton of self worth, that I didn't know was left to gain. I began listening to podcasts, which turned out to be pretty life enriching. I survived a 3 month long distance relationship (out of a new 4 month relationship) with flying colors. I learned so much about the kind of person I am. I frequented a Lit club on campus, read my poetry aloud and learned that people love the way I read poetry and how my poems sound. I joined a pre-med honor society. I've made new friendships and strengthened existing ones and may have lost a few in between. And all in all I had a rather inspiring year! I'm ready and invigorated to begin this new one.

If you are still with me after my year long hiatus and after this lengthy, very un-poetic post, I commend and appreciate your loyalty. If you have gone your own way in the meantime and have yet to return, I wish you nothing but the best. And for those who have discovered my work while I was out discovering myself, thank you, I hope to continue to provide you with... well, with a sense of what you're looking for, I suppose. And to myself, past, present, or future, as it may be, I'm still here and I'm still kicking, I haven't yet given up.